


Blood and Bones

by AvoidingAverage



Series: Canon-Based AUs [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, DON'T WORRY NOBODY DIES, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Injury Recovery, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, OTP Feels, POV Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Requited Unrequited Love, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers is Not Hydra, Til the End of the Line, True Love, Whump, Whumptober 2019, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 08:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21194330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvoidingAverage/pseuds/AvoidingAverage
Summary: There was a part of him that always expected them to come for him.A part that was prepared for the misery of looking into the eyes of someone who had seen him defenseless and vulnerable in a way no human should be.But there was something inside of Bucky that rebelled at the sight of Steve Rogers finally falling to the ground beneath the combined might of the Hydra ambush.___________________________When Bucky and Steve are captured by Hydra, Bucky makes the ultimate sacrifice to keep the man he loves safe.





	Blood and Bones

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually shocked to say that this is the first time I've ever written a whump short story. It's especially strange since it shows up so often in my multi-chapter stories. Either way, I hope you enjoy this emotional rollercoaster as my humble addition to Whumptober.

There was a part of him that always expected them to come for him. 

A part that was prepared for the misery of looking into the eyes of someone who had seen him defenseless and vulnerable in a way no human should be.

But there was something inside of Bucky that rebelled at the sight of Steve Rogers finally falling to the ground beneath the combined might of the Hydra ambush. 

It made the metal cuffs on Bucky’s arms burn like ice that paired easily with the numbness radiating from the useless metal arm hanging at his side. The gun pressed against his temple was a familiar weight that anchored even as his mind threatened to spiral away from the present. Some voice kernel endless, helpless sounds and it wasn’t until the man at his right cuffed him hard enough in the jaw for him to split blood did he realize the sounds came from him. 

They dragged Steve against the wall of the bunker the two of them had been sent to raid. Bucky didn’t need to see the reinforced chains to know that this room had been made to break apart and destroy the taste of happiness the two soldiers had attained in the year since Project Insight. 

Steve fought against them with each step despite the blood running freely from the wound over his eye and the other injuries Bucky knew were hidden behind his uniform. The sight of his stubborn determination and perseverance should have been a comfort, should have been proof that there was still hope. But instead of reminding him of the skinny little spitfire of his youth, all Bucky could think about was how long it would take before they stripped that away from him too. 

How much of Steve would survive the Chair?

Blue eyes, hazy with pain and worry, snapped to his and Steve gave him a grin that was all bloodied teeth and vicious challenge despite his soothing words. “Don’t worry, Buck. I’ve got them on the ropes,” he murmured, voice slurring from the concussion the serum hadn’t healed yet. 

_Too many other injuries to tend to first_, the Soldier’s voice murmured in his head. Even Erskine’s work couldn’t work miracles against a gunshot wound sluggishly healing on one shoulder or the broken ribs and shattered bones left behind by the metal pipe wielded by the worst of them when Bucky was pinned beneath the weight of the rest of them.

Now, Bucky remained quiet and flinched when Steve’s expression shuttered with a bolt of fear. Not for himself of course. Steve Rogers had never been smart enough to fear for his own survival. No, Bucky knew Steve’s mind would be full of nothing but plans to find a way to save _him._

It was all they knew, protecting one another. That much hadn’t changed despite the decades they’d lived apart.

The thought stung as much as it soothed. There was a part of him that was still used to protecting the boy if his past. It hurt to think that that part of him had been replaced by a creature so terrified of capture all it knew was how to run from the first sign of a threat. Even now he had to resist the urge to thrash like some wild beast against his restraints and the rough hands at his throat. 

The only thing he knew with any certainty was that he would die before he allowed Hydra to rip away all that was good and pure and Steve from him. His arms ached with the need to tear himself free, but without his left arm functioning he could get any traction. The barrel of the gun pressed harder against his skull, forcing his hand forward even as a rough hand yanked him upright by the hair. 

A low, vicious voice crooned in his ear as his head was forced to tilt in the direction of where Steve was being restrained. It was laughable that they thought he could actually look away. 

“Not so tough now are you, Soldier? You can’t even function without your precious Captain’s orders.” The man’s hand tightened in Bucky’s hair, hard enough that he could feel several strands pull free. “I wonder if he’ll scream as pretty as you used to?”

Bucky hissed out a breath tinged in barely restrained violence at the thought. He clung to that anger to withstand the tide of blankness that threatened to wash away the last of his rebellious thoughts. The weak, broken part of him wanted to whimper, to plead at the thought of the punishment he knew would be delivered at his former handler’s hands. It was only by staring at the raw fury in Steve’s expression that he managed to keep hold of his identity.

“Let him go,” Steve’s voice was all Captain America now and Bucky could see the way the violence simmering in each syllable rippled through the room like a wave of heat.

Even the ringleader seemed to be affected and Bucky could see the moment where the instinctive wariness was replaced with defensive anger. The man’s dark eyes flicked around the room, assessing the way his soldiers were beginning to shift anxiously. Bucky knew better than anyone the way Steve could make men falter beneath the weight of his sheer determination and focus. 

But Hydra specialized in finding the kind of people who were used to causing pain in others, not being a victim of fear themselves.

So it was no surprise when the leader’s hesitation turned to fury. “You aren’t in any position to be making orders here, _Captain._”

Steve looked like he barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the weak attempt at an insult.

“Taking the two of us hostage was your first mistake. One that could be punished by something as simple as jail time if you’re lucky,” he paused and his voice turned to steel, “But know that if you so much as _think_ about doing anything more, I will make it my personal mission to see the life leave each and every one of your eyes.”

“Your threats are meaningless here,” the Hydra agent sneered. “It won’t be long until you and your pet are begging to be of use to Hydra.”

Bucky flinched at the certainty in that threat, trying not to think about all the years he’d spent doing just that.

“No matter what you do to me, I’ll die before I work for Hydra.”

The leader looked Steve over carefully, so carefully that he didn’t miss the moment Steve made his mistake. Those blue eyes shifted to Bucky for barely an instant, but it was enough to make a cruel smile spread across the agent’s lips. 

“You know, Captain,” he drawled, walking across the room to stand only a few feet away from the blonde. “I believe you. After all, you always were just a little too stubborn to be useful.”

Steve frowned, trying to understand the shift in the other man’s tactics.

“Perhaps it would be better to begin with someone already acquainted with our techniques.” Horror was already filling Steve’s face when the man gestured to the guards holding Bucky securely between them. “Have him brought to the chair--we’ll see how long it takes to wipe him again.”

“_No!_” Steve roared, fighting against the chains that bound him until bright blood stained his wrists. “No! Don’t you touch him!”

“It’s okay, Stevie,” Bucky tried to soothe even as his heart threatened to leap free from his chest. “I’ll be okay. You know I’ll come back.” The soldier gripping him by the hair yanked him to his feet roughly and he tried to focus on memorizing every inch of Steve’s face before it was burned out of him again. “Til the end of the line, right?”

Steve shuddered like the words ripped at something deep inside. He swallowed hard and stared at Bucky for a moment that seemed to last for an eternity despite the rough hands pulling them apart. Bucky licked his suddenly dry lips.

“It’s okay, Stevie. I promise,” he tried to reassure.

Steve opened his mouth to respond, but closed it with a click when the leader of the group released a vicious laugh.

“Well,” he said with enough delight that Bucky felt his stomach drop, “isn’t that sweet? Even after all this time, you’re still each other’s greatest weakness. I wonder how far that loyalty truly goes...”

The way he looked at Steve made Bucky want to scream. He threw himself forward, drawing the man’s attention back to him. “It’s me you want,” Bucky reminded them, “I’m the Winter Soldier! I’m the Asset!”

“And he’s your weakness.”

Bucky breath seemed to freeze in his throat.

_Nonononononononononononono_

Somewhere deep inside him, someone was screaming and it wasn’t until the soldier beside him cuffed him hard enough that he saw stars that he realized he was echoing the sound behind gritted teeth.

The Hydra agent gave him a grin before pulling his handgun free and aiming it at Steve’s head. Steve ignored the gesture, blue eyes sliding away to meet Bucky’s with an expression that threatened to bring him to his knees. It was the same look he’d given Steve before he’d fallen from the train. Full of love and longing and a million words that had never been spoken.

The sound of the safety being clicked off filled the room like a death knell, but still Steve kept his eyes on Bucky. It wasn’t until the agent shifted closer, smile curling his lips and death in his eyes that Steve finally looked away to glare into the man’s face.

“You won’t win this,” he said with vicious satisfaction. “He’ll never belong to you.”

The agent smirked. “Guess you’ll never find out.”

Then he tightened his finger on the trigger.

Bucky was moving before the thought could even register. Some deep part of his core awakened at the sight of the gun barrel gleaming maliciously under the halogen lights and reflecting in the fearless blue of Steve’s. 

Time seemed to slow—his mind too focused on thoughts of distance and probabilities to consider paltry matters like mortality. 

He saw the muzzle flash and imagined the smell of gunpowder filling his chest even as a vicious jolt of pain sent him spinning to the ground in an uncontrolled fall. 

Someone made a choked off sound of agony, but Bucky’s teeth were gritted too tight for it to have escaped from his throat. Feet pounded across the concrete near his head and he heard the sound of an explosion nearby followed by the familiar whine of a repulsor beam. 

“Stark..” he whispered, throat tight with pain and the uncomfortable burning in his chest. 

Good then, that Steve wouldn’t be alone, he thought as a familiar rattle of liquid began to fill in his lungs. 

If he were still the Soldier, he would be categorizing his injuries to decide what kind of maintenance he would require. That voice seemed to fade beneath the knowledge both parts of his broken mind knew with a strange sort of certainty—

He was dying. 

There was too much blood pouring out of the wound in his chest. Too much flesh ripped away in the exit wound to consider a simple attempt to keep pressure on the injury until they reached a hospital. He estimated he would only remain conscious for a few minutes more--long enough to save a life, but not his own. Already his head felt like it was floating from blood loss and he blinked sluggishly up into the light as the fight continued around him. 

Then a shadow was falling over him and he was staring up into the face of the man he’d loved from the moment he knew what love was. Decades of quiet adoration that remained more constant than any star or far off galaxy. 

Helplessly Bucky smiled up at him. “Stevie…”

“Don’t talk, Buck,” he said quietly, swallowing hard even though he tried to hide it when he saw the extent of Bucky’s injury. “I’ve got you.”

The relief he felt in seeing Steve sitting with him--alive, whole--even with the furrow between his brow growing deeper and his eyes suspiciously bright with panic was an unholy thing. He knew without asking that Steve would do everything he could to try to prevent the inevitable end to this day. It hurt to think about the guilt that the other man would carry with him when Bucky was gone again. Maybe the others would be enough to keep him safe this time…

“Are the guards down?” he bit out against the pain in his chest.

“Tony and the others managed to track us after I hit the emergency button. They’re securing the bunker now.”

Bucky grunted, trying to resist the urge to twist in pain. His teeth began to chatter with a chill he knew had nothing to do with the temperature of the room. “S--should’ve known something was wrong. Deserved to get shot.”

“Christ, Buck, don’t talk like that.” Strong arms lifted and cradled Bucky until he could hear Steve’s heart thundering against his ear. It settled the last of the anxiety at how close Hydra had come to taking Steve away from him. “You’re going to be okay. In a few days, you’ll be harassing all the cute nurses at Stark Tower and trying to sneak out of medical. You’re gonna get through this, Buck. You _have_ to get through this.”

Voices rumbled nearby and Bucky saw Steve lift his head to speak to someone else, his voice a pleasant rumble in his ear that Bucky couldn’t be bothered to interpret. 

He closed his eyes.

Time went strange and distant, marked by Steve’s voice in his ear growing more and more frantic. It was enough to drag him up to from the darkness, helpless to ignore the man his soul seemed to revolve around. The world blinked into focus sluggishly and he had to fight for each breath even as two figures worked at slowing the bleeding in his chest.

Bucky frowned at the man on his left. “Gabe?...Gabe, what’re you doing here?”

Steve made a raw, wounded noise. “It’s not Gabe, Bucky. That’s Sam. You remember Sam?”

“Sam…”

Sam gave him a reassuring smile, somehow making it look genuine despite the worry in his eyes. “It’s alright, man. Focus on your breathing, okay? I need you to stay awake for us right now. Don’t close your eyes.”

Bucky let his eyes refocus on Steve, rallying his strength. He grabbed at Steve’s hands, noticing only then that they were covered with his life’s blood from where he’d been trying to stop the bleeding. 

“Steve,” Bucky murmured, letting all the emotion he always kept hidden flood each syllable until Steve shuddered violently and looked at him. “Y-you have to promise…”

“Bucky--”

Bucky glared at him, forcing the words through a wet cough that left red speckles on his lips. “Promise me you won’t do something stupid.”

“_Shut up,_” Steve ordered fiercely, “we aren’t doing this. I’m not going to promise you something like you’re going to die here. You--you’re going to be fine. You’ve survived too much already.”

He smiled at him, ignoring the glare he knew held real heat. “I love you.” Steve went still and Bucky let his hands fall to his side, conserving some of his strength. “Always have.”

“Bucky…”

“Please, Stevie,” he whispered, eyes growing heavy. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Steve released a shuddering breath and leaned down until their foreheads were pressed together and Bucky could feel the tears dripping onto his face. “How can I?” he whispered and Bucky could hear the tremor in his voice even as they smiled at the memory of a long ago fair. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky was still smiling when he fell into the darkness for the second time, staring up at the love of his life.

_________________________________________________________

Waking up again was a surprise followed quickly by a wave of agony so intense that he sucked in a shaky breath that only barely managed not to become a scream.

His mind spun dizzily, trying and failing to understand why he was still alive when it had been so obvious that he was not going to walk out of the trap that had been set for them. 

A terrible thought occurred to him then. 

What if he was back in the labs once more? What if Hydra had once again ripped him away from Steve so they could break him and reshape him into the tool they craved? Already his mind conjured up images of Zola and countless other doctors and scientists leaning over his restrained form. The way their eyes had remained flat and expressionless when he pleaded with them and thrashed against his bonds feebly.

He didn’t know if he could survive it again.

Even worse was the realization that the only way Hydra could have taken him again was if Steve was dead or injured enough not to follow after him. No amount of brain washing or torture had ever truly erased the deep-seated knowledge that Steve Rogers would walk through hell itself before he left Bucky to suffer it alone. 

Someone shifted nearby, the sound of their breathing audible over his own rocketing pulse that continued to speed up despite every attempt to control his panic.

“Buck?” a rough voice asked, full of hope and worry. 

_Please_, he prayed silently, _please let this be real. Please let him be safe._

“Bucky?”

He was helpless to resist the growing concern in Steve’s voice and the warm weight of a hand pressing against the mattress beside his hip. Slowly, Bucky blinked open his eyes.

Steve’s face looked more haggard than he’d ever seen it. Eyes dark with a new set of nightmares that Bucky knew he’d never confess to. Blonde hair feathered around his face in matted clumps that were still streaked with blood and dirt from the ambush. Even covered in grime and wearing his worry like a heavy cloak, Bucky was convinced he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Bucky licked his lips. “Steve…” he whispered. 

Steve shuddered like he’s been struck by some live wire, head dropping forward to rest against Bucky’s forearm. “Shit, Buck…” he breathed, “I thought you were…”

Another one of those awful shivers ripples through him and Bucky made a soft sound of protest. “M’ okay, Stevie. Nothing I couldn’t handle. Don’t cry.”

The other man made a rough sound and suddenly his hands were clenching around the thin hospital blankets at Bucky’s hips. He leaned over Bucky with a snarl curling his lips.

Bucky blinked in surprise, instinctively shrinking back against the pillows in the face of this unexpected rage. “Stevie?”

“I am not…” Steve paused to grit his teeth until his jaw popped alarmingly, “about to _cry_. I’m trying not to strangle you.”

“I, wait--w--why?”

“Because you can’t just do that!” Steve roared. He paced away from the bed and Bucky immediately found himself hating the way he seemed to take all the warmth with him. Angry fingers raked through dirty blonde hair until it stuck around his head in a strange halo. “You can’t expect me to go on with my life after watching you die, not once, but twice in my lifetime.”

Bucky made a feeble attempt at a smile. “Technically--”

“Don’t even _think_-” Steve cut in with a venomous glare, “-that you surviving both made it any easier for me to experience.”

He fell silent, numb with the reminder of just how far Steve’s grief had driven him before--right into the arms of the Red Skull.

“How would I ever live with the knowledge that you sacrificed yourself for me?” Steve whispered and Bucky winced at the raw grief in those words. “How could ever move forward knowing that you died in that hellhole and never even gave me a chance to tell you I loved you?”

“I’m sorry, Stevie. I--” Bucky blinked, mind suddenly catching up with the stream of words. “You...you love me?” He stared at his friend, watching the man he stood with his shoulders back like he was waiting for a firing squad. “What the fuck?”

Steve flinched like he’d been struck and Bucky wanted to shoot himself a second time. “I know you probably didn’t mean it like that, but--”

“Do you?” he interrupted, “Mean it like that?”

Looking miserable, Steve stared down at his hands, toying with the hem of his hospital scrubs. 

“Tell me the truth.”

Steve’s eyes flicked over the bed, resting on the IV and various wires connecting Bucky to the monitors before landing on the thick wad of bandages stretched across his chest. “I do,” he finally whispered.

Bucky sucked in a startled breath, mind spinning with all that he’d missed and all the possibilities that suddenly lay in front of them. He didn’t realize how long he’d been silent until Steve made a soft sound of agony and made an aborted gesture towards Bucky, like he’d intended to reach for his hand but stopped at the last second. There was nothing but panic in the blue eyes stubbornly pleading with him, darting between looking down and at Bucky’s face.

“I know you didn’t..I mean--Bucky, this doesn’t have to change anything between us. I know you didn’t mean it that way and I can...I can keep it under control, I promise. You won’t even--”

“Rogers,” Bucky’s voice sounded hoarse and Steve flinched in surprise when his hand brushed over Steve’s clenched fist. “Stevie...look at me.”

Something in his tone must have caught Steve by surprise because the blonde finally looked up and met his eyes. Slowly, Bucky let his lips curl into the grin that had been threatening to break free ever since he woke up with Steve by his side once again. Steve watched it grow with a hesitant kind of hope.

“Bucky?”

“I’m in love with you, you mook. Always have been.”

Steve’s breath left his lungs in a rush and he collapsed back into his chair, leaning heavily against the bed. He was silent for a beat before he released a breathless laugh. “You--really?” he asked, sounding nothing like the Captain America of legend and every bit like the skinny Steve Rogers from Brooklyn. “You love me?”

“Always have,” Bucky repeated from his earlier confession. “Always will.”

The slow smile Steve aimed at him felt like the first rays of sunlight after a long winter, soaking into Bucky’s skin until he felt like he was drunk with the joy of it. 

“Sap.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Rogers.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Please leave a comment below if you'd like to see more of the same from me and check out my other stories if you'd like to see more of me tormenting these soft boys with angst and eventual happy endings.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
